The Basics

Work

I work at a bank. It's......a job. It pays. Oh and did I mention all of the old men and Hispanic men who love to make eyes at me and tell me that I'm the type of girl they could take home to their momma. Amazing. I've had an older Jewish man with 6 kids call me at work and tell me that he thinks about me. A Korean man who bothered me so much that he has been banned from our branch. Finally, a Hispanic man wanted to call me at home to practice his English with me. I'm swimming with winners, huh?

I also intern with an entertainment public relations company as well as a movie studio. I'm hoping something comes out of this especially since I have to give free stuff to drunk people while trying to make sure they remember what movie party they were attending.

The Boys

The Bouncer GORGEOUS guy who I met while doing an event for the movie company I intern for.

Wolverine Met him briefly in Small Town and then got to know him a bit better last Fall. Apparently I have a knack for wrong timing because he was "about to start dating someone soon. Maybe". So he stopped talking to me. He has recentlly reappeared sans girlfriend and texting me A LOT.

The New Yorker Guy I met way back when I was 16 and in Ocean City. We had a great connection and have stayed in touch over the past 5 years. He has recently moved to South Carolina with his girlfriend and then informed me that he has since broken up with her. He really wants to see me. This could get interesting.

The Fireman We dated briefly when I was younger and things didn't work out. We've always had a really strong physical connection and even more so recently. Funny how he still has a girlfriend.

The Ex Yea. Him. Still drinks too much. I still care too much. Ugh.

The Best Friend Not mine. The Ex's. I'm the ultimate untouchable to him and have been for a long time. We knew eachother before The Ex and I dated and have a little history.

The Matrix Coat Guy who goes to The Citadel who came into the bank one Friday evening. I caught him staring at me and he was in a uniform so I was mush. I'm a ballsy person so I found him on Facebook and sent him an email saying that I thought he was cute. We then began writing on eachothers walls and Instant Messaging. He was soooooooo cheesy and romantic and I LOVED it. Did I mention he called me Darling? Mush.

Then things started escalating. He wrote me a poem that was pretty risque but beautiful all the same and the conversations got more intense. Then the talks about seeing eachother happened. I, of course, didn't offer to drive all the way to The Carolinas for this boy but he did offer to come up and see me.

The day he came up to see me I was really nervous. I got the call that he was at the door so I ran outside to let him in and what is he wearing? A calf-length, leather, trench coat. I'm surprised he didn't notice my reaction because I defintely almost vomitted in my mouth. Anyway, the night was kind of awkward but I just wrote it off to nerves. Then the dreaded first kiss awkward moment thing happened. You know what I'm talking about. The moment when you know the kiss is going to happen but not sure when it is and then you just end up staring at eachother. Yea. Awkward. So I grabbed the bull by the balls and went in for it since this puss obviously wasn't going to do it.

We went to lunch the next day and I really started figuring out how much of a goober this guy really was. I actually ordered a cocktail at 2 in the afternoon. No kiss when we parted that time but we planned to go to dinner later that night. So, strike #1 for the evening- he didn't offer to come pick me up. I had to meet him. Strike #2, he said his parents were going to be with us. I freaked out about that for a bit but pulled myself together. I mean, afterall, I invited him up here to see me so I should suck it up and go out with him. I find parking at the place but he's nowhere to be found inside. I call, and he tells me "Oh. I think you're at the wrong one". Strike #2 1/2. So I wait and he shows up. I got luckily and he left the Rents at home. BUT, what is he wearing? A silk shirt. No Matrix coat, but a silk, effing, shirt. Strike #3.

Still, I figure that I'll get a free meal out of it so we decide to get a drink while we wait for a table. We're standing at the bar waiting to be served and he yells "Senora" at the bartender. Now, we're at a Mexican restaurant but REALLY?! I literally died inside. The two women sitting in front of us turned and looked at him, as did the bartender, and I looked away and tried to hide my face. Soon after, my date talked my ear off as he obviously could not handle his Tom Collins (by the way, I tasted his drink, and there was barely any gin in this drink).

Dinner was embarrassing since he attemtped to speak to the waiter in broken Spanish. But because I am a glutton for punishment, I agreed to meet his friends after dinner. And I had to drive.

We get to his friend's house, he kisses me and it was terrible. I couldn't even exude a small amount of enthusiasm but I guess he was into it. This house was DISGUSTING and I immediately starting thinking of ways to get out of this situation. While sitting in the basement, I pretended that my phone buzzed and I excused myself to take the call in the other room. I was totally committed to this and I had a conversation with a person who wasn't on my cell phone. I came back into the room and said that I had to leave because my mom fell down and couldn't get up. I know, I'm a horrible person but she does fall down a lot.

So I left Matrix Coat without a car and went to the Gay Watering Hole with Sean and had an awesome time. I never talked to him ever again. But I mean c'mon. Would you talk to a guy who wears a Matrix Coat AND silk shirts?! Hell to the no!

-Ray